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How to Talk to Anybody, Anytime

You know the situation: There you are at ahere. You can't be a selfish, arrogant person
business or social function and you end upand be successful. I am talking true
with someone who you have never met before.well-rounded success, not just collecting a
Some people get amazingly uncomfortable withpot full of money.The best way to describe
this situation because they simply don't knowthis process is to write out a mock
how to start or carry on a conversation. Yetconversation. You will notice the kinds of
successful people are always going to findquestions I would ask, when I find a
themselves in these kinds of situationsconnection, and how I would go in that
because they are always stretching themselvesdirection."Hi, I'm Chris Widener. What is
and putting themselves into situations toyour name?""Joe Schmoe.""Well, Joe, what do
help them and their businesses grow and thatyou do for a living?""I sell insurance."
means meeting new people. So if you are going(Possible connection here. Everybody has
to be successful, one thing you have to getinsurance)"Oh yeah? What kind of
down is how to talk to anybody, anytime. Goodinsurance?""I insure Oil rigs in the Adriatic
news: It is easier than you think!First, aSea." (Whoops. Lost connection)"Wow. That's
couple of things not to do. One, don't getmust be fascinating. Married or kids, Joe?"
flustered and excuse yourself. That is the(I have a wife and kids, maybe we can show
easy way out, and you never know if youpictures)"No, actually, I'm single." (It
didn't just leave who would have become yourisn't looking good yet)"So, who do you know
best friend or closest business associate.here at the party?""Well, nobody. I am the
Stick around! Secondly, don't start talkingbrother of the host's accountant. I'm in town
about yourself. Sure, introduce yourself, butfor a week and my brother had to make an
don't launch into a half-hour monologue aboutappearance." (It is going in the wrong
your accomplishments. The other person willdirection here)"So where are you
either roll their eyes back into their headfrom?""Nebraska." (Bingo, there it is. The
or simply give you a new nickname: Joe "letconnection! Now let's go in that
me tell you a story about myself" Schmoe.direction)"Really? My dad was from Nebraska.
This leads me to the key.Talk about theEven though he died when I was four, my
person you have just met. Don't talk aboutgrandmother used to take me back to visit my
yourself - talk about them! And the key is torelatives every summer growing up. It sure
ask questions. Now, there are obviously somewas a lot of fun. Were you city folk, or did
people you just will not be able to talk toyou live on a farm?""I grew up on a pig
because they are absolute bores or they arefarm.""That's what my relatives did! As a kid
angry or upset or something, but I have foundI always wanted to ride one of those sows.
that that is only about 1% of the people, ifLuckily my uncles never let me attempt
even that. For the most part, if you persistit."There you are. Now just start asking
in asking questions, you will be able to talkquestions about what they did growing up, how
to anybody, anytime.There are three segmentsthey liked it etc.If you get adept enough at
to this process:Ask questions.Findasking questions of others, you will
connections.Go in those directions.What youinevitably find a connection to talk about.
are trying to do is to find common ground.And having something in common with someone
What makes people afraid to talk to others isis the start to a long and mutually
that they are afraid they won't have anythingbeneficial relationship - one of the
in common. I have found that usually, if youfoundations of success!I am in a career where
ask questions for a minute or two, you canI meet new people all the time and this is
always find a connection with someone, andexactly what I do. I am no better
then you're set. The worst that could happenconversationalist than most of you. It is
is that you ask the person questions for ajust a proven way of getting a relationship
few minutes and find nothing. But what willoff the ground with someone you have just
that person tell others? That you seem tomet.Here it is again:Ask questions, find
have a genuine interest in others. That is aconnections, go in those directions.
great reputation to have!That is another key



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